Growing up, I was taught the importance of good hair hygiene and it was hammered into my head never to share a comb with anyone. These were the rules to good heath; clip your nails, never share a toothbrush or a comb, brush your teeth. I remember recoiling in horror when I discovered that my back then boyfriend had accidentally used my toothbrush. I contemplated throwing it away. I have never shared a brush or a comb with anyone besides family. So I view sharing my hair with another with someone else as intimately as sharing any part of my body as well.
What do I mean by intimately? I mean getting to the roots of your hair; touching your scalp (yay head rubs!), knowing the way the hair works and accepting the hair in whatever form. In my previous relationship, the man said that he preferred straightened hair in general. Clearly, we were doomed from the start. At the beginning of my most recent relationship, I remember refusing to be seen because my hair was only halfway done with braids. At that point of our relationship, he was watching me take out my braids. He’d seen the nasty nature of the way hair gets after two months in braids. Clumps and all. He had helped me put in braids. He had washed my hair. And I insisted on head rubs just about every day.
The thing is, there is a trust. You trust someone with something you take pride in (keep reading)